gospel 'n kids

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling.  If you know the Bible, even a little, you will find his hilarious!  It comes from a test given to kids.  Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments.  The following statements about the Bible were written by kids.

    In the first book of the bible, Guinessis.  God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree.  Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.  Noah built an ark and the animals cam on in pears.
Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.  The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Moses led the Jews to the Red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.  Afterwards, Moses went up to the Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The seventhe Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses dies before he ever reached Canada.  Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greates miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed.
David was a hebrew king to was skilled at playing the liar.  He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in bibical times.
Solomon, on of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she san the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you.  He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.
It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistels were the wives of the apostals.
One of the oppussums was St Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preaced holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
Christians have only one spouse.  This is called monotony.

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